Love Letter 3
Writing love letters to you is really addicting, because I had a whole stack of letters that I threw away because I didn't want my boyfriend at the time to find them. I started writing letters to you in 8th and 9th grade.
It wasn't a matter of you finding my letters and loving me, I wanted you to find them and know that I love you.
I miss you so much. It tears me apart not knowing where you are, and how you are. I'd rather have several years with you, then nothing. I'd rather just know that somewhere out there that you are fine and happy. If I could have knowledge that you are happily married somewhere...well, that's fine too. If I know that you are well and happily married, I wouldn't waste time looking...I would just be content to be by myself and I will wait for you in the next lifetime. It's just that I can feel you and it's driving me crazy.
I love you so much. There isn't anything in this world that means more to me than you. Everytime I think about quitting or giving up on things, I can feel your encouragement and inspiration. Thank you so much for that. Even though you are not here with me, being able to feel you makes me go on when otherwise I'd just give up.
Everytime I think about giving up, I think of you. I think of how you would feel if you were all alone, if I didn't exist anymore and there was no possibility of finding me because I've given up. Thinking about your pain, loneliness, or hurt of not finding someone that truly loves you unconditionally keeps me here.
When people say that they want to make a huge impact on the world and be remembered I am happy for them, but I don't care if people don't know me or remember me as long as I matter to ONE person. If by being here, I make you happier, feel loved, cherished, and your burdens feel less heavy to bear then it is worth it.