An online romance with a Kurdish man from the East of Turkey.  This is a true story about a Kurdish man I met online.  I'm not sure how the story will end and how it will unfold, and I'm writing it as it progresses.  Stay tuned if you're interested in seeing how an online long distance relationship develops over time. I know what some of the Turkish people say about the Kurdish, so if you're one of those then maybe it's best that you don't read it.

                A Kurdish Lover

By KL

                    A young American girl clicked through to an International chatroom wandering aimlessly, it was a long and lonely night.  Despite being bombarded with webcam requests, bots, indecent proposals, and annoying immature chatters her eyes caught an intriguing private message.  He said he was from Turkey and he was in his early twenties.  Most guys from Turkey in the International chatrooms want to see your webcam, offer you their undying love and ask you to marry them in 2 minutes, or talk to you about sex.  But he did neither of these things.  Another thing that fascinated me was that his English was great, and not at all broken/choppy like the other foreigners. 

                   He politely asked if I wanted to chat with him.  And I said, "Sure. About what?"  His reply was, "Anything except for sex." 

                   I laughed.  That was easy.  Trust me, if your object is to cyber, you'll find more than enough people to accomodate you but that wasn't why I was there.  I just wanted to talk with someone different, maybe from another part of the world.  Gain a new perspective or learn something, maybe.  He mentioned that his elder brother was an English teacher, ah, no wonder.  Where he learned his exceptional English language skills became clearer.  For several hours that night we touched on a wide range of topics such as religion, family, marriages, Turkish culture etc.

                  I waited for him online the next night.  He didn't show up, nor the following nights. He didn't make an appearance again until the fourth night.  I thought that I would never be able to converse with this stranger from the other side of the world.  When it is night here, it is day over there and yet it seems the distance didn't matter.

                  By the way, he is gorgeous with short dark hair those locks brushing his forehead and dark piercing eyes and a bright smile.  I saw his picture and on webcam, but his looks doesn't compare to his voice.  His voice was sexy and deep, it can make you conjure up all sorts of fantasies except that he's not the type that would fall on your bed and help you with those fantasies.  Sigh.  He is the religious type and morally righteous, and he says he doesn't believe in sex until marriage.  So basically you're left with your own fantasies and those dreamy eyes.

                What made him stand out was that the other Turkish guys seemed so easy, corrupt, players, liars, cheaters while this man from the East had all those qualities that you think you'd never find in a man.  Maybe it doesn't mean much nowadays to people, but a person's character is all they have regardless of whether he is rich or poor.  He had character in spades and I was drawn to it like a moth to a flame.  Hopelessly, desperately, and even though my head was saying no, don't fall for him...I wouldn't listen to myself nor my sound advice.  I kept talking to him and the more I learned the more I liked him.

                Besides being intelligent, family oriented, religious, loyal/devoted, honest...he makes me laugh.  For example, we were talking on the phone one day and he asked me if I know of any medicine that gets rid of chest hair.  He said it was for his uncle and I laughed at him.  I said, "Are you sure you're not asking for yourself?"  He laughed and said, "No.  I happen to like my chest hair, it keeps me warm in the winter."   Listening to his laughter makes my toes curl and it's so much better than taking a bubble bath or glass of champagne. 

              I know that most Turkish or Kurdish guys aren't worth wasting even 5 minutes on, he was different.  He doesn't want anything from me, not materialistically at least.  He is like a kid, he craves affection and attention though.  He's not afraid to express his feelings and expect the same.  That isn't too much to ask for. 

              He actually sang to me in Turkish, and since I can't understand a word he sang I am sure it is some beautiful love songs.  He made me sing, so I chose Richard Marx's "Right Here Waiting" and unlike other guys he did not criticize me about my horrible singing.  In fact he said he like it, liked my voice and thought the song was beautiful.  I ask myself, "Why can't I find someone like that closer to home?"  He is miles and miles away and the obstacles surrounding our relationship just seems too big for me to climb right now.  I played the Bryan Adams song "Everything I do", for him and he said afterwards, "Honey, I can't lie for you or die for you."  I laughed, I said "It's a song, silly."  I mentioned how much I wanted to go with him to see the Volcano on the big island of Hawaii and he said, "What if the Volcano erupts, or the ashes fall on you?  I don't want to lose you.  Let's go to the beach."  I like him more and more, day by day because he never compromises his values and sticks to his word.  I believe him because of his conviction.  I know he would do what he says he would do. 

              He told me this in turkish and said I should ask someone what it means, "sana olan aşkımı sözcüklerle ifade etmemin imkanının olmadığını sana daha önce söylemiş miydim?"  He said that I would be so happy if I knew what he said.  I found out that it means that, "Have I told you that there is no words that can express my love for you?" 

              But sadly this online romance had to end before I fell deeper in love with him.  I knew that what he wanted I couldn't give him.  Ultimately I knew he wanted a wife to live in the East of Turkey with him, who also converted to Islam and quit her job and became a housewife.  Also, he wanted to live with his parents/family even after he was married.  It's good to know what someone wants up front because that way you can't say well, I don't know or he didn't tell me.  I was aware of everything from the start and finally with heartwrenching difficulty I had to end this online affair.  There was no point in continuing it and have both of us getting hurt in the end.

             I already miss him so much.  Maybe I will go to the East of Turkey someday and just get a glimpse of him.  Maybe he'll be married then, hopefully happily (I can't imagine him being unhappy or it would be too painful) and maybe I'll wave and smile.  Maybe I'll go there and build an orphanage or a mosque (when I'm rich, lol) and dedicate it to him because for that short period of time he has captured a part of my heart by being himself.  Maybe when he sees tourists from America, he'll think of me and realize that I'm not like the other girls online and that our feelings weren't fake.  Maybe he'll realize that I did care for him.

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