Elusive Male Submissive

                 Another sleepless and lonely night, I am awake waiting for a glimpse of a sub online who is not mine, whom I have no rights to.  It is unreasonable to want and to dream, wondering why I can’t be distracted by the ones begging for my attention and those groveling at my feet.  Is it because he eludes me, or because I am intrigued and ensnared by a certain aspect that is him? 

                I am giving up.  I am exhausted by this cat and mouse game.  He should know how jaded and cynical I was before him, so his disappearing acts are not helping.  I want someone that wants me just as much, someone who will give me his attention or whatever it is that pleases me.  I want NOT to be denied.  As much as I prefer him over others, I refuse to let this preference cause me to suffer.  

                If he wants to be alone then fine, be alone and content.